Releasing the Pollorena

The setting is Cohen's Hotel Room, approximately 8 P.M. on the night of June 11, 2011.

 

/Butch Thompson enters, still smiling about the results of the day's game earlier.

 

Butch: Coach Cohen, can I come in?

 

Cohen: (quickly cuts of Hanna Montana) YEAH BUTCH COME ON IN

 

Butch: Coach, I figured we needed to talk about, well you know, who to start at pitcher for tomorrow's game.

 

 

Cohen: BUTCH, I'M GONNA THROW AN IDEA AT YOU, BUT IT'S GONNA BE A REALLLL SCARY.

 

Butch: You're not thinking about doing what I think you are, are you coach? You're not gonna pitch Lo...

 

Cohen: SHHHH DON'T SAY HIS NAME BUTCH! YOU KNOW HE HEARS EVERYTHING.  HE'S PASSED OUT IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR CHAINED TO THE BED.  HAD TO PUMP HIM FULL OF HORSE TRANQUILIZERS AND SONIC JUNIOR BURGERS JUST TO SUBDUE HIM.

 

Butch: Okay, I'll just say "L".  Coach, do you realize what this means?  If we release the "L" to pitch, lives will be lost Coach! Don't you remember last time, against Southern Miss? oh it was horrible...

 

Cohen: DANGIT MAN SNAP OUT OF IT! (slaps butch across the face) DON'T YOU THINK I REMEMBER THE SOUTHERN GAME BUTCH? MY GOODNESS, 3 OF THE SOUTHERN BOYS WERE NEVER FOUND AGAIN, BUT WAR IS WAR, AND WE MUST DO WHAT'S NECESSARY TO FIGHT ON ANOTHER DAY. FLORIDA HAS ALREADY FIRED THE FIRST SHOT OVER OUR BOW BY RELEASING WHITSON FRIDAY. HE DAD BURN ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF WITH A PITCH WARMING UP, AND I WAS STANDING 300 FEET AWAY IN THE HOT DOG LINE!!!

 

Butch: You're right coach, we will do what we must to win this war.

 

Cohen: THEN IT IS SETTLED, TOMORROW WE RELEASE THE POLLO.... THE "L".

 

Butch: May God forgive us for the things we've decided here.

 

/9 a.m., the team enters the stadium for game three of the super regional

 

Cohen: BUTCH, MINGENHOMIE, GET OUR PLAYERS BACK, IT'S TIME...

 


Release_the_kraken_medium

 

State fan's see:

 

Pollorena_medium

 

Florida fans see:

 

Kraken_medium

 

/the end

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join For Whom the Cowbell Tolls

You must be a member of For Whom the Cowbell Tolls to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at For Whom the Cowbell Tolls. You should read them.

Join For Whom the Cowbell Tolls

You must be a member of For Whom the Cowbell Tolls to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at For Whom the Cowbell Tolls. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker