I am here to warn you all: do not stare directly at the new MSU helmet.
So, I'm sitting in my office this afternoon, admiring the design of the new helmet. I just couldn't look away. It was so beautiful, you know? Then, after about 15 minutes, I could have sworn that the helmet's eye started moving, like it was trying to put me under a trance or something.
I started to feel funny, and then I blacked out. When I woke up, I had done the following:
- Vigorously defended Adidas on all message boards
- Yelled "ALL HAIL HYPNODOG" at a school bus full of children for 15 minutes; got arrested.
- Written two blank checks to a Nigerian Prince.
- Barked at two old ladies; took a leak on a fire hydrant.
- BIT A COWBOY
Beware, and make sure you look away!