What a Bag Man Wants

Kevin Jairaj-US PRESSWIRE

Inspired by Steven Godfrey's brilliant interview with an SEC bag man, entitled "Meet the Bag Man", here's a parody song, "What a Bag Man Wants", set to Christina Aguilera's "What a Girl Wants".

/cuts this on to get the tune in your head right

What a bag man wants, what a bag man needs. [2x]
Yeah, come on.

[recruit, to bagman]
I wanna thank you for giving me, 23
Hundred dollars for my kid sister's dentistry
Gonna sign with your school now
the #1 wide out, yeah yeah

Only cash, checks I never touched
'Cause in my heart was a picture of ya
Catching' balls, winnin' it all, and it's lucky for me you understand my southern drawl

What a bag man wants
What a bag man needs
Payin players so we can win the SEC
And when we've signed them all, that's knowing exactly
What a bag man wants
What a bag man needs
Whatever helps out your dads' farms
And now we're signing you and that's all because of me
Yeah Yeah

What I want is what you got
And what you got, is 1500 yards rushing and 29 touchdowns as a senior.

There was a time I was blind, I was so confused
Givin legally to my school since I was 22.
But [PLAYER], you knew me better than I knew myself
They say if you want a player pay some mo'
If he comes back again
That's when you up the bank roll
It's for keeps, yeah, it's for sure
And I'm ready and willin'
To handshake a hundred more cause

What a bag man wants
What a bag man needs
Payin players so we can win the SEC
And when we've signed them all, that's knowing exactly
What a bag man wants
What a bag man needs
Whatever helps out your dads' farms
And now we're signing you and that's all because of me
Yeah Yeah

What a bag man wants, what a bag man needs
Somebody [with a fast 40], [with great pad level],
[with ball handling skills], [with tremendous pursuit of the football], like you.
What a bag man wants, what a bag man needs, oh yeah.

What a bag man wants (you're so right)
What a bag man needs (you're so right)
You let a bag man know how much you
Need for your aunt's hip surgery, I swear
You're the one who always knew...
You knew, you knew, you knew, you knew...

Ooh, I'm thanking the gym teacher for leading you to me.
What a bag man wants, what a bag man needs
Whatever gets you to [my campus] in the fall,
Whatever gets you to [my campus] in the fall, that's what I need...

What a bag man wants
What a bag man needs
Payin players so we can win the SEC
And when we've signed them all, that's knowing exactly
What a bag man wants
What a bag man needs
Whatever helps out your dads' farms
And now we're signing you and that's all because of me
Yeah Yeah

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join For Whom the Cowbell Tolls

You must be a member of For Whom the Cowbell Tolls to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at For Whom the Cowbell Tolls. You should read them.

Join For Whom the Cowbell Tolls

You must be a member of For Whom the Cowbell Tolls to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at For Whom the Cowbell Tolls. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker