Nike accidentally shows us the future of baseball: cow players

Mooooooove on over, human players, cows are the next great baseball players - via HailStateStore.com

It's Friday at 11p.m. You go to sleep. You usually don't this early on a Friday, but frankly, you're like a kid on Christmas night; ready for the following day to get here so you can divulge yourself in the feast of presents. Only this time, your present is seeing Mississippi State at the College World Series.

You wake up. It's Saturday, and you spring from your bed with excitement, but much to your dismay, you awoke not to the world you fell asleep in. You awoke in a world 143 years from now, where up is down, dogs walk humans, and cows play baseball. Also: Kyle Peterson is now Cow Peterson.

Wait, hold up, cows play baseball?

Yep, at least that's the future that Nike sees for us.

You see, there's a reason Phil Knight, the owner of Nike, is mega rich. There's a reason that last week he bought six-third world countries and didn't even keep the receipt in case he wanted to return them. The reason he's that rich is because he's smart. He's so smart, in fact, that in 1986, he built a time machine out of bendy straws and a thermonuclear plutonium fragment all while he was baked and watching Back to the Future. Ever since then, he's been using that machine to travel forwards in time and view the world as it will be, and designing clothes for the future in advance. He sees the world well beyond what we live in today. And in that world, humans no longer play baseball. By 2156, humans will have tired of a boring three hour game like baseball, so rather than playing, they just outsource the game to genetically mutated cows. Hoofs Aaron, Orel Burgershieser, Cud Ruth, and Joe DiMilkio will be your all-stars that year, but more importantly, the exact same teams that made the 2013 College World Series will make the one in 2156.

The fact that you've seen the above shirt is a slip up by Knight's futuredesign (TM) department. That shirt was scheduled for printing years from now, but unfortunately, it got switched with the one for this year.

That's what you get when you let an animal with no thumbs send emails.

It's too late now, Phil Knight, we've all seen what the future will be like. And we shall all now prepare ourselves for the new world where t-ball is played by calves.

No but seriously, this shirt is a play off of the Omaha Steak business. You can buy one here, here, and even here.

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