Sources close to For Whom the Cowbell Tolls have confirmed the news* that broke today that ABC will be canceling their plans to reboot the beloved series The Brady Bunch with Ole Miss women’s basketball coach, Matt Insell, went on a crazed rant about “donut bacon cheeseburgers.”
This news comes after the fact that ABC already started making promotional posters and casting Insell for every single role possible on the show.
One anonymous source revealed to For Whom the Cowbell Tolls’ lead reporter, Ethan Lee, that the show would’ve been approved had Insell not spread rumors about Mississippi State fans choking on “donut bacon cheeseburgers,” an event that Lee can confirm did not happen.
A thorough investigation into whether or not the alleged mass choking of donut bacon cheeseburgers was completed last night and it confirmed that the only choking that was done was by Matt Insell himself.
also please, a show of hands, let me know how many of you choked on your donut bacon cheeseburgers when we never even trailed in this game— FWtCT (@mstatesports) January 17, 2017
The entire video of Matt Insell spreading false rumors about Mississippi State fans choking on their “donut bacon cheeseburgers” can be found below.
Here's Ole Miss head coach Matt Insell's 2+ minute rant where he referred to MSU fans "coughing" on their donut bacon cheeseburgers. Gold. pic.twitter.com/642Ukkje6n— Robby Donoho (@RobbyDonoho) January 17, 2017
*This is not really news. There was no attempt to reboot The Brady Bunch using Ole Miss head coach Matt Insell. This is totally fake news for fun. Satire, if you will. But, like, if satire was not good. Lead reporter Ethan Lee regrets nothing and was bored between classes.