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The Wednesday Whatever: Joyce Carol Oates Thinks that Mississippians Don’t Read

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Reading is a sport, right? That means we can write about it, right?

NCAA Football: Mississippi State at Louisiana Tech Justin Ford-USA TODAY Sports

On this episode of: “Let’s make ignorant statements disparaging Mississippi,” our contestant this week is Joyce Carol Oates! What earned Oates the extreme prestige of being nominated for “Ethan Lee’s idiot of the week award,” you might ask yourself? She thinks that Mississippians don’t read!

First and foremost, Joyce Carol Oates apparently believes that illiteracy is a humorous thing. Which, that in itself is an incredibly elitist, bullshit way of living life. Imagine taking pleasure in mocking those that can’t read because they didn’t have access to the tools necessary to learn how to read. I imagine that’s how Joyce Carol Oates spends her evenings. Alone, laughing at humans that, for whatever asinine reason, she deems to be inferior to her. I imagine she does this while clutching onto the books that she’s written. Because she seemingly values her books and opinions yet doesn’t value humanity.

Secondly, William Faulkner was from Mississippi. He lived in Mississippi when it was much more rare for individuals to be literate. In case you didn’t know, Ole Billy Faulkner lived from 1897 to 1962. In the south, during that time especially, education wasn’t always available to individuals to obtain. Despite this, Faulkner, a Mississippian, had resources available to him, learned to read and write, and went on to be a far superior author than you could ever be, Joyce Carol Oates.

Thirdly, I can guarantee that Mississippians read because I’ve had Mississippians be very mad at me for things that I’ve written. You have no idea how many Mississippians I have upset with things that I have written. And those Mississippians not only read what was written, but they even WRITE responses too! Ain’t that incredible, huh?!

Lastly, I’d like to leave you with this, Joyce Carol Oates. You’re a jackass. I hope every copy of every book that you personally own gets eaten by moths so that you no longer have the ability to read and thus cannot mock others for not reading.

I also hope that you go out of your way to work with underserved communities and volunteer with children and youth in a literacy based program. I hope that you learn from this. I hope that you grow. Your sense of humor is reprehensible and disgusting in this instance. We all fall short from time to time. I’m sure you could go out of your way to dig up tweets from yours truly that are equally as dumb as yours is. And in those moments, I was an idiot too. Grow and learn.