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Twas The Night Before the Egg Bowl

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NCAA Football: Mississippi State at Arkansas Brett Rojo-USA TODAY Sports

Twas the night before the Egg Bowl, when all through the state

Everybody was stirring, all filled with hate.

The Dawgs were ready to kick some RebelBearShark dairy-aire

To ensure that the Egg will yet again be theirs.

The Dawgs were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Golden Eggs danced in their heads.

With Megan in her ‘kerchief, and Dan in his visor,

Hoping that his win count will grow one higher.

When outside his home there arose such a clatter,

Dan sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon lit up the yard, and Dan saw… no!

You’ll never guess what he saw below.

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,

Ole’ Hugh Freeze, drinking a beer.

He had no driver, so it must be a trick,

Just the sight of him, made poor Dan sick.

Dan yelled back “I know your violations, they are such a shame!”,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"There was Boosters giving cash! There was recruiting violations! Seriously man, what in tarnation?

There was impermissible merchandise! And fake ACT scores! And trust me, there is plenty more!

I need my rest, I don’t have the time today! Man, this just isn’t okay!

Now go away! Go away! Go away!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

Dan looked around and then poof.

As he drew in his head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Fitz came without making a sound.

He wore maroon and white, from his head to his foot,

Dan told him to go and rest but he stayed put.

He was used to the pressure, he carries the team on his back,

And he looked like a pro when he drops back.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His cheek bones like wood,

He was nice and groomed just like a QB should.

He spoke not a word, and went straight to his work,

He yelled at Ole Freeze, and said “Get out, jerk!”

As soon as Hugh saw Fitz, he started to go,

So Fitz gave a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He went on his way, and made Hugh leave so simple,

55-20 came to mind, and he showed off that dimple.

Dan heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"Can’t wait for tomorrow Ole Miss, we know we give you fright!”