Reasons Why Louisiana State University is the Worst

• Mike the Tiger is caged up. Like an animal nonetheless. I am appalled at how the LSU faithful treat this majestic beast. Let him roam and be free. Animals have feelings. Can’t you just put a leash on him? That’s is what we do with Jak the Bulldog.

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

• They literally speak a different language. The Department of French Studies at LSU has kindly provided us with a Cajun French-English glossary so us English speakers can converse with the swampies. Geaux Tigers.
• Cajun food is overrated. We get it. It is more than food and part of your “culture.” What group of people doesn’t have food that is important to them. The Cajun food trinity is onions, celery, and bell pepper. Wow that’s inspiring. Add some crappy hot sauce and you’ve got “good” Cajun food. Let’s just stop at Raising Cane’s on the way out of Baton Rouge after a night win.
• Louisiana is the worst state in the country. I’m not saying this is true or false but when US News ranked states based on health care, education, infrastructure, and other aspects, they ranked Louisiana last. Also. Baton Rouge is the capital so it probably sucks too.
• The student section is classless. Don’t take your children to LSU games unless you want them hearing profanity laced chants. Please use viewer discretion when watching the video below.

• They think they are a blue blood program. LSU is not. LSU is not Alabama. LSU is not Ohio State. LSU is not even Texas. Stop trying to be.
• LSU quarterbacks are garbage. For a “blue blood” program, LSU has not produced any real quarterback talent. Check out this list of names: Ryan Perrilloux, Jordan Jefferson, Chris Garrett, Anthony Jennings, Brandon Harris...I could go on. Most of these quarterbacks have the stars next to their name but no real numbers to back it up. LSU can recruit, just not quarterbacks. Thank you Les.

Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images

• LSU missed on Dak. You know Dak Prescott? He’s the leader and quarterback of the most valuable sports franchise in the world. He was in LSU’s backyard and they missed him.

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

I wanted to add perhaps my favorite play of all time. I was in the nosebleeds at Tiger Stadium and I could hear the crowd slowly slither away as the Louisiana boy silenced the LSU faithful. Geaux Dawgs.

• Death Valley is overrated. I will probably get slack for this but the night game atmosphere at Death Valley is overrated. Sure it’s fun. It’s loud. But in 2014 against MSU about 25% of the stadium was left to witness LSU almost come back and beat the Bulldogs. LSU had a chance to win and ³⁄₄ of the fans left. This should not be called the best environment in college football.
• They smell like corn dogs. It is the truth. It has been documented. Check out this story on the origins of LSU fans smelling like corn dogs.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images

• Storming the field after beating Ole Miss in 2014. Ok I get it to an extent. Ole Miss was the Number 3 team in the nation that money could buy. Ole Miss had won the year before. But come on! LSU was still ranked. You own the overall rivalry easily and yet you storm the field? Save the field storming for a real upset over a Number 1 team. I don’t get LSU fans.

• Coach Orgeron is a quote machine. Check this one out from their big win over Auburn.

“Djaovisoi football aahui fhasid dajh bdfj teaaanmm efforiurt. Aeeeuburn isssf ah guuuud football tiiaeem.” -Ed Orgeron

Finally there is this. It doesn’t really have anything to do with LSU but one cannot ignore internet gold. Please enjoy.

Hail State Always