‘Twas the Night Before the Egg Bowl

John Swinney

‘Twas the night before the Egg Bowl, when all through the state

Everybody was stirring, all filled with hate.

The Dawgs were ready to kick some RebelBearShark Dairy-Aire

To ensure that the Egg will yet again be theirs.

The Dawgs were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Golden Eggs danced in their heads.

Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports

With Jennifer in her ‘kerchief, and Joe in his visor,

Hoping that his win count will grow one higher.

When outside his home there arose such a clatter,

Joe sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon lit up the yard, and Joe saw… no!

You’ll never guess what he saw below.

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,

Ole’ Matt Luke, drinking a beer.

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

He had no driver, so it must be a trick,

Just the sight of him, made poor Joe sick.

Joe yelled back “I know your school’s violations, they are such a shame!”,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

”There was Boosters giving cash! There was recruiting violations! Seriously man, what in tarnation?

There was impermissible merchandise! And fake ACT scores! And trust me, there is much, much more!

I need my rest, I don’t have the time today! Man, just go away!

Now go away! Go away! Go away!”

And then, in a twinkling, he heard on the roof

Joe looked around and then “poof”.

As he drew in his head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Fitz came without making a sound.

He wore Maroon and White, from his head to his foot,

Joe told him to go and rest but he stayed put.

He was used to the pressure, he carries the team on his back,

And he looked like a pro when he drops back.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His cheek bones like wood,

He was nice and groomed just like a QB should.

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

He spoke not a word, and went straight to his work,

He yelled at Ole Luke, and said “Get out you jerk!”

As soon as Coach Luke saw Fitz, he started to go,

So Fitz gave a nod, and up the chimney he rose

He went on his way, after he made Luke leave so simple,

The Golden Egg came to mind, so he showed off that dimple.

Joe heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

”Can’t wait for tomorrow Ole Miss, we know we give you a big fright!”

Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports