Reasons Why the University of Kentucky is the Worst

• They can’t even sell out their own stadium. Apparently the Wildcat faithful don’t support football. Wow that’s a shocker. Despite the fact Kentucky is coming off a historic win vs Florida. Despite the fact they decreased the capacity of their stadium in 2015 to allow the rich folks more amenities. Despite the fact that Lexington metro is a community of over 600,000 people, the Wildcats have trouble selling tickets. “You’re either growing or you’re dying. There ain’t no third direction.”
• Kentucky sells tickets to home football games in Walmart parking lots. I thought Walmart jokes were reserved for us Mississippians or or even Arkansans. No my friends. Turns out Walmart bleeds Wildcat blue.

• The name of their stadium is Kroger Field. Really? Who said this was a good idea? The Kentucky Wildcats are the first school in the SEC to enter into a corporate partnership for the naming rights to their football stadium. The university is set to make $1.85 million per year for the naming rights. Why not win more and sell more tickets? That would make too much sense. Let’s shrink our stadium and become like every other no name corporate blob of a building. Way to sell out Kentucky. You make the SEC so proud.
• They can’t even tailgate properly. “In an attempt to change student tailgate culture and better enforce its alcohol policy, UK is trying to push student tailgating into an enclosed and more easily monitored setting.” - Kentucky Kernel. In other words, the students were bad and the university had to treat them like little kids and put them in a play pen so they can watch them while adults are talking. See the link above for more details but it’s pretty much a fenced in area of tailgating where they have numerous requirements including: a limit on how much alcohol you can bring, each tent must have a guest list that is turned into the university, and each tent will be open only for 4¹⁄₂ hours before kickoff. It is quite a dictatorial regime in Lexington.
• Benny Snell compared himself to Leonard Fournette and Herschel Walker. He also refers to himself in the third person. Also I hate his hair. It look like mini churros.

• The most famous Kentucky alum is Ashley Judd. What does Ashley Judd even do? I know she’s famous because she is part of a famous family. She’s like the Kim Kardashian of Kentucky. Ashley has been in a few movies here and there but really nothing in about 20 years. She’s more well known today for going to basketball games and being a Hollywood political activist. Hey look! A celebrity! Let’s listen to her and her political leanings because she obviously knows what she’s talking about. No thanks.

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• They are a basketball school. There is nothing wrong with basketball. I was born and raised in a basketball centric city. I have no problem with the game itself. March Madness can be fun. Who doesn’t love a good buzzer beater? But there is something inherently strange about how the Kentucky fan base proudly lauds basketball and has a disdain for football. They use basketball as a fallback. If football turns sour (let’s be honest it almost always does) then Kentucky fans shrug it off and use the excuse “well we are a basketball school anyway.” What a convenient narrative. It feels odd, almost out of place. That’s how I feel about Kentucky. I honestly kind of forget that they are in the SEC. And that’s a problem.
• Kentucky is losing the Governor’s Cup Rivalry with Louisville. Ok they are not actually losing the rivalry, it is tied. But let’s delve deeper. Take away games played before 1925 and Kentucky has a 9-15 record against the Cardinals. More recently Kentucky has lost 6 of the past 7 match ups in the rivalry. The University of Kentucky is the flagship school in Kentucky right? Why is Louisville even in the discussion? Step it up Wildcats.
• Kentucky Basketball decided to hire a coach who chooses wins over ethics. Coach John Calipari is the most sketch guy in all of college basketball. He has two vacated Final Four Appearances. Every school he has coached at has been left in ruins after his departure (see UMass and University of Memphis). If you need more reasons why Coach Cal is unethical then read this article. Even with all of his “success” he’s only won one NCAA National Championship. Here’s to Kentucky Basketball being irrelevant and under NCAA investigation 2 years after Coach Calipari departs.

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• Mark Stoops is not even the best coach in his family. Mark has two older brothers with better coaching pedigrees. You may remember Bob Stoops as the long time Oklahoma Sooners coach. Bob has a national championship and learned from the coaching greats Bill Snyder at Kansas State and Steve Spurrier at Florida. Mark’s other older brother Mike Stoops is an arguably better coach than Mark as well. Mike was the Arizona Wildcat’s head coach and led them to three straight bowl games. Mark has an overall record of 29-36 during his 5 plus seasons at Kentucky. It’s highlighted by a dismal 13-28 conference record. Most of these games of course being played against the weak SEC East. Kentucky would finish 6th or 7th every year if they played in the gauntlet called the SEC West.

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Here’s a reminder at how easy it was to beat Kentucky last year. Everyone on that team has churro hair.

Hail State Always