Reasons Why Kansas State is the Worst

Before you read on I want to preface this by saying I actually really like Kansas State. Every college football fan has that other school in another conference that they either pull for or follow. Kansas State is that school in the Big 12 for me. I feel like they have many similarities to Mississippi State. Both are land grant universities founded around the same time in small towns. Student population, academics, and research also seem to be about on par with each other.

However, this week I do not like Kansas State. There are many reasons not to like the Wildcats. Read on if you want ammunition for your future twitter wars with the Wildcat faithful.

They only have one official school color. It’s “Royal Purple.” If that doesn’t sound pretentious then I don’t know what is. The color purple wasn’t good enough? Oprah would be disappointed. You had to come up with an adjective to describe how special your purple is? It’s almost as bad as Ole Miss stealing their colors from Harvard and Yale.

They are not the real Manhattan. I don’t know if they were named after the bigger and better one in New York or if it was some guy’s last name or what. But I do know that Manhattan, KS is nicknamed “The Little Apple.” That’s soooo cute.

Bill Snyder is old. Like 78 years old. He’s already in the College Football Hall of Fame. Let someone else coach already. Rumor has it there is a special cocktail you can order at the bars in Manhattan. It’s called a “Snyder”. Two parts prune juice. 1 part robitussin. Served on the rocks. Must be ordered and consumed before 5pm.

Scott Sewell-USA TODAY Sports

The Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium is a bad name for a stadium. I love ole’ Bill. He’s probably a great guy and family man but “Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium” is literally the worst name for a stadium I’ve ever heard. Sure it’s honorable naming your stadium after a living legend but let’s dissect this a bit. What about the “family” part? Is it named after his family as well? Or just the family? It’s confusing and weird. Also, do they need to have “Football” in the name? It’s not “Davis Wade Football Stadium.” Of course it’s for football. Dumb.

The Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium playing field is AstroTurf. Sorry not just AstroTurf but AstroTurf Rootzone 3D3. It’s fake. It’s not real. God intended men to play football on grass not plastic.

What is a wildcat anyway? I definitely used wikipedia for this one. It’s a select species of small cats. They’re one step away from a housecat. Also, they are no wildcats in North America. They are spread throughout Africa, Asia, and Europe. So I’m in Kansas, thousands of miles away from an actual wildcat. Let’s name our school after one. That makes sense.

Willie the Wildcat is creepy. He has a wildcat head and human body. His body doesn’t match with his head and that concerns me.

The Sunflower Showdown. This is the rivalry between Kansas and Kansas State. I had no idea this was a rivalry at all to be completely honest. It’s probably fun when they play basketball but Kansas Football is probably the worst FBS program in the country right now. They lost to Nicholls last week. This is just a sad sad “rivalry.”

Farmaggedon. It’s the rivalry game between Kansas State and Iowa State. Honestly I don’t know if I love it or hate it. Ok fine I love it and I’m jealous but don’t tell anyone.

P.S. Remember that time Kansas State needed a missed field goal to beat South Dakota? Cause I do.

Hail State Always