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Mississippi State Mock: Texas A&M Edition

The Texas A&M Fighting Milkmen try to upset the Bulldogs at Kyle Field this weekend.

Mississippi v Texas A&M Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

The Aggie Male Cheerleaders are the best athletes at Kyle Field.

Texas A&M boys dress up like 1950s milk men and show grown men how to yell. Sounds like a blast.

Alabama v Texas A&M Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

The 12th man is an overrated “tradition.”

They wrap their arms around each other, sway back and forth, and yell loudly. It’s not special.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: SEP 30 South Carolina at Texas A&M Photo by Daniel Dunn/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

The Aggies are rich but stupid.

Texas A&M football is the most profitable team in the country. However, since the Aggies joined the SEC they have averaged 8.5 wins per year. So much for that extra revenue. What are they doing with their money? They’re wasting it on needless stadium improvements and an overrated coach.

College Station = Waco

Texas A&M is in College Station, Texas. College Station is an hour and a half from Waco, Texas. Therefore, in my mind, they’re pretty much the same place. Thank you Texas for my two favorite people. Hey Aggies, next time you need to renovate your stadium to hold 60,000 because of poor football and declining attendance, call Chip and Joanna. I just love that farmhouse feel. Hope you like shiplap!

Build Presents Chip & Joanna Gaines Discussing Their Book “Capital Gaines: Smart Things I Learned Doing Stupid Stuff” Photo by Daniel Zuchnik/WireImage
Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series AAA Texas 500 Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images

Johnny Football belongs in the Memphis Express Hall of Fame

He’s No. 2 on your charts but No. 1 in your hearts. Johnny Football killed it when he was a member of the Memphis Express. Good luck leading the team next year. #AllAboard #TakeFlight

Birmingham Iron v Memphis Express Photo by Joe Robbins/AAF/Getty Images

Mississippi State owns Texas A&M

Mississippi State has beaten Texas A&M four out of the last five times, including the last three. The Bulldogs are also 7-5 all-time versus the Aggies. I like how we can count on this win pretty much every year.

Mississippi State v Texas A&M Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images