*welcome to #FWtCTAfterDark*
After news broke about NCAA violations committed by the Mississippi State Athletic Department, something just didn’t feel right. There is no way Mississippi State would have hired a tutor capable of doing such things. These horrid allegations would not come out of Starkville, Mississippi. Someone had to be to blame.
Who would want to see us burn?
Who would want to see us crumble?
We always do things the right way.
So I, Alex Gomez P.I., decided to get to the bottom of this.
This case had so many twist and turns, some of which had to be expected from such experts of cover-ups. You begin looking and investigating and you find yourself at the usual suspects: Bunkie Perkins, David W. Case, Zach Berry, and of course Red Cup Rebellion. The first step in an investigation is to find motive. So we thought to ourselves, “Why?” For starters, we took Leo Lewis from their team, their team is on probation, their team has not been to a bowl game in a few years, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. So you can check motive off for all of our suspects.
We narrowed in on David W. Case, because he is the biggest question mark. How is a professor at Ole Miss Law so popular? Through our investigation, we never found that answer, but he is indeed an Ole Miss Law professor. A man who knows his way around the law is suspicious, but look at his face:
He didn’t do it.
Bunkie is Bunkie and he is a bear(?). Quite honestly he just would have tweeted that he did it. That’s when it hit us.
When people do stupid things they always tweet about it, and that is where we found the truth:
We personally took courses for Mississippi State football players in order to get them a few NCAA academic misconduct violations. We were a plant playing the long con. This is now #eggbowltwitter canon.— red cup (@RedCupRebellion) August 23, 2019
The innocence remains intact here at Mississippi State University. And now we should suspend Red Cup for eight games of this season and collect 1% of the profits.
We will be sending this to firstname.lastname@example.org... I mean compliance@NCAA.org.
Want to discuss it? Follow me on twitter @_thealexgomez and let’s discuss. Thank you for reading and Hail State!