Head-to-head Southeastern Conference games occur regularly now as the “haves” and the “have nots” become apparent. Serious cracks have formed in a handful of teams and expectations of a trip for the holidays are rapidly vaporizing. Each week the urgency grows, requiring adjustments and new leaders to step up. Who steps up this week for their teams?
Texas A&M @ Arkansas: The Razorbacks ran into a regiment of Trojan horsemen last week that had them confused and running for the woods. The Piggies may have missed their last opportunity to put corn in the barn against a team that had won three games in the last two years. Chad Morris hopes to rally his Porkers for the community flea market in Arlington, Texas, where he hopes to show off his best bacon packages.
The Aggies couldn’t get the leash untangled on Reveille before Gus had already fully unloaded the bus and had the big birds up front plucking away at Kellen Mond. Jimbo has redesigned the leash and there should be no complications this week when the Piglets hit town. This has always been a close game over the last few years, but Reveille should be eating roast pig all weekend.
T-Dawg’s Winner: Texas A&M 31 - 24
N. Illinois @ Vanderbilt: The Huskies haven’t been able to handle the heat as well as you and I have this year, and we all know how bad it has been. This will be the last fund-collecting event before the Iditarod begins, so “Mission” (mascot’s name) can have full provisions.
Derek Mason knows his Commodores need to get the cannons firing on target before going hunting for black bear in north Mississippi next week. Mason’s ships have had little trouble loading up collected bounty, but his sailors haven’t been able to fix the holes in the bottom of the ship to slow down the sinking vessels each week. In a last-ditch effort, Mason has ordered several cases of Flex Seal to use on the boats and wrap dog legs together. If the miracle sealer works on dogs it might work on bears as well.
T-Dawg’s Winner: Vanderbilt 31 - 21
TSUN @ Alabama: Matt Luke kicked and stomped his feet for an hour, but nothing he did moved the ball one more yard. This week, Luke takes his cubs to Title Town where the grind of the SEC begins in earnest. While he’s there, he may leave a resume in case Saban wants to rehab a coach next year again.
Now Nick has his Red Elephants trampling through all pretenders and some baby bears that are still in diapers won’t offer much resistance to the continuing stampede of pachyderms for yet another week. Tua takes an average of six plays to score, even from across the Warrior River. Tua can drop it in the bucket from anywhere, but surprisingly, the Tide leads by one yard per game on the ground over (you ready for this?), TSUN! Yeah, WOW! It doesn’t matter, though. Tua has a dinner date at 5:30 Saturday and he won’t miss it, so this will be a sub clean-up game.
T-Dawg’s Winner: Alabama 51 - 13
Towson St. @ Florida: The Towson Tigers are licking their wounds after a loss to mighty Villanova last weekend. The Tigers analytical skills aren’t working very well either because they are checking into Gainesville, Florida for some R&R. Bad move!
Mullenex was able to get his Gators to bite the rears of The Volunteers as they chased them out of town. No one is sure which direction they went but there was a rumor that the doors of Fort Knoxville were locked as soon as the third quarter started. This week, Grantham will have his sharp-toothed lizards practicing tiger attacks in anticipation of a more dangerous species migrating south next week.
T-Dawg’s Winner: Florida 45 - 6
Kentucky @ South Carolina: Stoop’s Wildcats are reeling after losing two in a row in conference play. A continuing losing streak could spell a season of doom in Lexington, Kentucky, for a team that started with a high degree of optimism. Big Blue’s priority is to stop the bleeding, and now!
The Carolina Cock-Fighters haven’t had much luck scoring licks with their spurs this season, and the inability to damage foes has the chicken house in a form of rapid decay. Repairs need to be made quickly or the roof could soon fall in. Muschamp will attempt to patch-up the “coup” so that the Mild Cats won’t be able to get at his remaining prized Cluckers.
T-Dawg’s Winner: South Carolina 30 - 24
Miss. State @ Auburn: Gus made it back to the Waffle House Saturday night and ate until they had to wheel him out with syrup dripping down his chin. Gus and Bo Nix do have a lot to celebrate after an SEC road win. Those SEC wins are tough to come by and should be celebrated for at least a day. A rabid pack of Dawgs are coming to town and the Tigers have a trip to Gator Land to follow.
Coach Jo Mo went 1-0 last week and looks to duplicate that again this week before a week off. When Jo Mo can let all the Dawgs out, they are a different team defensively. Runnin back Kylin Hill leads the SEC in rushing, and if the offensive line can open a few holes for Hill and Shrader, Gus could have the syrup on his face replaced with egg. Shrader will catch Gus’ kittens packing their bags for Gainesville and challenge Jo Mo to lead the “Cowboy Boogie” after the game.
T-Dawg’s Winner: Miss. State 31 – 27
I said last week that attitude and a positive mindset are a must if any team of any sport expects to succeed. Believing and having faith in yourself and team are lessons that sports teaches us about life. Being successful is not accidental and never will be.
“Gentlemen, we will chase perfection, and we will chase it relentlessly, knowing all the while we can never attain it. But along the way, we shall catch excellence.” - Vince Lombardi