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Mississippi State Mock: Auburn Tigers Edition

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Maybe Cam Newton will make an appearance and show us a really stupid hat at Jordan-Hare on Saturday.

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The Face of Auburn Football, Cam Newton, is a clown.

He can’t make it through postgame conferences without pouting. He thinks it’s Halloween when he does interviews. He should be studying his playbook and being a respected part of his team instead of spending thousands of dollars on his postgame attire. He’d actually probably be a good football player. Cam had the greatest single season in college football history. He hasn’t been able to live up to that hype in the pros. What a waste.

Throwing toilet paper on trees is not a tradition.

It’s a fire hazard.

Auburn fans are dumb.

They celebrated too early in the Final Four against Virginia. Fans rushed to Toomer’s Corner, trees were rolled, beer was poured and a game was lost by Auburn.

Gus Malzahn is overpaid.

Over the six seasons that Gus Malzahn has been coaching at Auburn, he averages a third-place finish in the SEC West. Yet he makes around $7 million a year. Auburn pays him ‘top-5 in the country’ money for finishing third in the division. Either Auburn is dumber than I thought or Gus is a mastermind with contract deals.

Kent State v Auburn Photo by Michael Chang/Getty Images

Bo Nix has acne.

Get some Proactiv, bro. The Proactiv Solution Teen Kit is on sale, only $49.95.

Oregon v Auburn Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Auburn is consistently the most overrated football team in the SEC every year.

Every year they’re preseason top-15 and every year they lose three to five games.

Auburn v Mississippi State Photo by Jonathan Bachman/Getty Images

Here’s to another down year for Auburn and an expensive buyout for Gus.