SEC teams as characters from "The League"

Editor's Note: This is a poor attempt at associating members of the Southeastern Conference-more specifically, football teams-to characters from quite possibly the greatest TV show on the planet, The League.  This will in no way make sense, but there is no use in arguing with the decisions made herein, because....

Pete - Alabama

Without a doubt the most successful member of The League, yet struggles in all other facets of his life.  Once painted his vehicle in homage to his football deity.

Andre - Vanderbilt

Probably the most well-educated member of The League, he has taken constant ridicule since the start. Lives in an urban area, not known for winning much in The League.

And for any Vandy fans that disagree...

Kevin - Georgia

A League stalwart, Kevin has been a middling success over The League's history.  Not a fan of Rafi or Meegan, makes fun of Andre constantly, secretly wants to be but can never defeat Pete.

Jenny - Texas A&M

A new member of The League whose talents have only recently come to the attention of others.  Successful from first entrance into The League, married to Kevin.

Ruxin - Ole Miss

Considers himself a premier member of The League but has actually toiled near the bottom for years.  A lawyer, lineup perpetual lineup tinkerer, and a notably excellent dancer:

Taco - LSU (this is more directly Les Miles)

A lot of times the things he says don't make sense, yet he somehow skates by in life and finds success and money.  Big into grass, is an El Notario.

Rafi - Florida

Truly a scary individual, you never know what to expect from him except pure and utter destruction.  Lacks a basic understanding of football.  Has claimed Sofia as his own for years, associates with men named Dirty Randy.

Sofia -Tennessee

Beautiful to look at but other than that, hasn't provided much of substance to The League.

Shiva Kamini Soma Kandarkram - Missouri

A bit of an outsider who actually holds a lot of power and say in how The League's season turns out.

Ellie - South Carolina (more Steve Spurrier)

You never know what she will say, and it's usually always interesting when she does speak.

Baby Geoffrey - Mississippi State

Trained under Rafi's tutelage, his only mission is to destroy Ruxin's world with one well placed punch.

Bobum Man - Arkansas

When you close your eyes and think of what the Bobum man would look like, tell me you don't picture Brett Bielema.

Krampus - Kentucky

Only becomes a threat around Christmas time, and it has nothing to do with the league (it's basketball/scaring children).

Meegan - Auburn

Hates Pete with a passion, is into a more fast paced lifestyle than Pete cares for.