Clark - Gus Malzahn
Gets the most attention of the Griswold family; is mostly alive (has a great season) due to some very fortunate breaks around him.
Ellen - James Franklin
A really underrated member of the Griswold (SEC) family. Has an understated attractiveness that could make her (him) attractive to other suitors.
Audrey - Gary Pinkel
Kind of just there, but is better than you give her (him) credit for.
Rusty - Butch Jones
Doesn't get the attention he probably should for his hard work due to his short stature. [editor's note: Butch Jones will not go on to star in the Big Bang Theory]
Cousin Eddie - Dan Mullen
Big fan of egg-nog; considers wearing a dickey to be a fashion statement. Stays in a place a bit longer than you expected.
Catherine - Mark Richt
Kind hearted, keeps a strong front even when things are tough around her (him).
Rocky - Will Muschamp
Possibly has contracted mange; contagious if gets around your family (football team).
Ruby Sue - Nick Saban
Short in stature, extremely nervous the night before Christmas (the Iron Bowl), has traveled around a good bit in her life (career).
Mary, the attractive store clerk - Kevin Sumlin
Everybody wants her (him).
Snots - Mike Stoops
You rub his belly (let him coach in the SEC) and he'll love you until the day you die.
The squirrel - Hugh Freeze
Gets everyone all excited and riled up when he first shows up, but is mostly harmless.
Aunt Bethany - Les Miles
Completely confused and aware of nothing going on around her (him); has done the pledge of allegiance at the dinner table. Utterly senile. Wears a hat.
The neighbors - Steve Spurrier
Knows they're (he's) better than you; is a big fan of wind-suit sets.