This weekend the Bulldogs will take on an uncommon opponent on the gridiron: the UT Martin Skyhawks. Unlike Auburn, LSU and Tennessee, we aren't really very familiar with the boys from Martin, Tennessee. One thing Farcely Populated has learned in researching UT Martin: the Skyhawk wasn't the schools only option when coming to a decision on a mascot to be the face of the school. Here are a few of the candidates for UT Martin's mascot that didn't quite make the cut.
Scuttles
Strengths: Always upbeat, experience in talking with humans/mermaids, can do his hair with a fork
Weaknesses: Thinks a fork is a dinglehopper, potentially addicted to hallucinogens
Decision not to pick: seems to be the for the best. Scuttle was great in Little Mermaid, but not really mascot material
Foghorn Leghorn
Strengths: Has the best quips ever, classic southern draw, gentleman, could probably handle his own with the bottle
Weaknesses: Speech impediment, dislike for cats would make it tough versus feline mascoted opponents
Decision not to pick: Although Foghorn is a man's-chicken, frankly he doesn't induce any sort of fear donning the side of a helmet. Good decision.
Martin
Strengths: talented American comedian, name is same as that of school, was in Bad Boys (I and II), can offer Big Momma-Level intimidation
Weaknesses: difficult to locate any
Decision not to pick: although people don't make for the best mascots, Martin would have been a good one. Bad decision
Skyhawk (Airplane)
Strengths: is a badass plane, can shoot stuff
Weaknesses: says navy on the side and they have their own school, rumor has it pilot graduated from UT-Chattanooga (ohsnap!)
Decision not to pick: Good decision
Skyhawk (Amusement Park Ride)
Strengths: Gives people thrills, can be intimidating to a few
Weaknesses: is located in OH not TN, makes people puke/tinkle, wouldn't fit well on a helmet
Decision not to pick: good one
BONUS CHOICE:
Star Fox
Strengths: experience commanding a Star Fleet, Good in difficult situations, lover of the ladies
Weaknesses: addicted to barrel rolls, indistinguishable from normal fox outside of the 12-18 yr old male demographic, a bit futuristic for college football
Decision not to pick: so-so