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The Skyhawk wasn't the only option of mascot for UT Martin

This weekend the Bulldogs will take on an uncommon opponent on the gridiron: the UT Martin Skyhawks.  Unlike Auburn, LSU and Tennessee, we aren't really very familiar with the boys from Martin, Tennessee.  One thing Farcely Populated has learned in researching UT Martin: the Skyhawk wasn't the schools only option when coming to a decision on a mascot to be the face of the school.  Here are a few of the candidates for UT Martin's mascot that didn't quite make the cut.



Strengths: Always upbeat, experience in talking with humans/mermaids, can do his hair with a fork

Weaknesses: Thinks a fork is a dinglehopper, potentially addicted to hallucinogens

Decision not to pick: seems to be the for the best.  Scuttle was great in Little Mermaid, but not really mascot material

Foghorn Leghorn


Strengths: Has the best quips ever, classic southern draw, gentleman, could probably handle his own with the bottle

Weaknesses: Speech impediment, dislike for cats would make it tough versus feline mascoted opponents

Decision not to pick: Although Foghorn is a man's-chicken, frankly he doesn't induce any sort of fear donning the side of a helmet.  Good decision.



Strengths: talented American comedian, name is same as that of school, was in Bad Boys (I and II), can offer Big Momma-Level intimidation

Weaknesses: difficult to locate any

Decision not to pick:  although people don't make for the best mascots, Martin would have been a good one. Bad decision


Skyhawk (Airplane)


Strengths: is a badass plane, can shoot stuff

Weaknesses: says navy on the side and they have their own school, rumor has it pilot graduated from UT-Chattanooga (ohsnap!)

Decision not to pick:  Good decision


Skyhawk (Amusement Park Ride)


Strengths:  Gives people thrills, can be intimidating to a few

Weaknesses:  is located in OH not TN, makes people puke/tinkle, wouldn't fit well on a helmet

Decision not to pick: good one



Star Fox



Strengths: experience commanding a Star Fleet, Good in difficult situations, lover of the ladies

Weaknesses: addicted to barrel rolls, indistinguishable from normal fox outside of the 12-18 yr old male demographic, a bit futuristic for college football

Decision not to pick: so-so