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The 2011 SEC Media Guide Cover: Hidden Meanings

Subtlety. That is the word which DOESN'T describe this 2011 SEC Media Guide Cover, released today. Part of me cringes, knowing that the jinx is now officially on (ITS NOT ON UNTIL YOU PUBLICLY ACKNOWLEDGE IT, Y'ALL), but part of me says hell yeah SEC; we are the best conference out there and gosh darnit, we DARE you to challenge that.

Now the meaning of the extra large 5 is obvious: The Southeastern Conference has won the last 5 football National Championships, leaving several pieces of Buckeye players scattered here and there. But are there any hiding meanings behind the "5" that stares at us so intently from the cover? Let's name the potential alternate meanings to the cover:


  • number of teams that will finish in front of Ole Miss in the SEC West this year
  • number of minutes into the first Florida home game before Will Muschamp rips a young mans arm off
  • number of square yards of bermuda Les Miles has eaten this off season
  • number of beers Stephen Garcia drinks... before stepping foot out of bed in the morning
  • number of touchdowns Vanderbilt will probably score the entire season
  • the number of times you've wondered: has every Tennessee football player since 2009 been arrested over the last two years?
  • number of reporters Houston Nutt will attempt to sign at media days mistaking them for players
  • months until December and basketball season, hang in there Kentucky fans
  • total number of fans who laugh at my posts