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The Oversigning Song: Slive sings to Houston Nutt

 

-It's Friday night, and Houston Nutt is at his favorite restaurant

-It's karaoke night, and of COURSE Houston is planning to sing ""you lost that loving feeling" while picturing Raymond Cotton in his head

/stage lights go down

/Mike Slive enters with a microphone

 

Images_medium

 

/the background music for "Apologize," by OneRepublic, begins to play in the background. 

 

Slive: This is a song, that I love so dearly.  Even more, than I love sweeping NCAA investigations under the rug to protect National Champions,... and I DO LOVE THAT SO MUCH.  Houston, this one goes out to you...

 /Slive begins to sing

I'm stopping you right there,

thats already 8 DT's today (Dan Mullen, in back ground: "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah")

I know you love them all, Houston,

but how will they all get to play?(they, won't, get, 2, play)

Sure you can sign a QB named Jesus

you won't keep him anywaaaaayyy(No f'in waaayyyy)

 

I said it's too late to oversign,

It's too laaaaaaaaaate (yeah, it, is)

I said it's too late to oversign, Houston

It's too laaaaaaaaaaate(no, gig, it, ty)

 

Complain all you want, but it's really nothing new (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

28's the limit, and its all BECAUSE OF YOU (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

And, oh by the way, Houston

please tell CJ to give that car back toooooo(mer ce daaaze)

 

I said it's too late to oversign,

It's too laaaaaaaate

I said they'll all transfer, over time

Anywaaaaaaaaay(ohewohohohohohohohohohoh)

 

/crowd applauds loudly

/Slive takes a bow

/Houston Nutt applauds wildly, unaware song was song about/to him

 

Nutt: Gosh dangiggity, sombody get Slive A RECORD DEAL! (giggity)

 

/Nutt leaves bar, signs 58 players the next day

/THE END