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Spencer Hall's Certain Thoughts For The 2011 College Football Season

The full list of 100 Absolutely Certain Thoughts For The 2011 College Football Season is live in all its glory over on the mothership. Here are 4 absolutely certain thoughts that relate to matters of the Maroon and White.

53. Chris Relf will swallow a cowbell diving into the endzone for a touchdown for Mississippi State late in the Auburn game. He will clang slightly every time he takes a step.

52. SEC officials will throw a flag for unnecessary celebration on every down Chris Relf plays until he coughs the cowbell out on a particularly hard tackle in the second quarter of the Auburn game.

51. Despite the constant penalties, the Mississippi State offense still places fourth in the conference in rushing offense.

. . .

34. ALABAMA DISASTER HYPOTHETICAL FOUR ILLUSTRATING HOW DEADLY THE SEC WEST IS: They lose to Mississippi State a week after the LSU game. There's no joke there. That could happen.

We honorably accept the absolutely certain thoughts from our college football overlords and look forward to each of them being fulfilled in due time. It will be a shame to lose that cowbell, though.

Well done, Mr. Hall. Well done, indeed!