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The Rules of Bragging Rights

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Several events over the last few days have led me to the point where I thought this post was needed. Some folks don't seem to understand the rules of 'bragging rights'. And some of those who own them, don't understand how to use them.

1. The first rule is - if your team beat their team in the last game that was played, you have bragging rights. For example, Alabama just beat Mississippi State so Bama fans have bragging rights....Mississippi State fans have bragging rights over Tennessee fans.

2. If your team has won two straight in the series, you have extra bragging rights. Three in a row and you have the hat trick in bragging rights. Four in a row is super bragging rights. Five in a row is supreme bragging rights - the other team's fans might as well go in a corner and cry.

3. When you have bragging rights, you are allowed to make fun of any and every thing the opposing fan's team does. They lose a game, you laugh real hard. If they attempt to laugh at you for your team's shortcomings, you point to the score of the last matchup...and see item #2 for how much you should shove it in their face. If there is a trophy awarded for the contest that makes it extra sweet. Example: Ole Miss fan is yapping, "let me count our Egg Bowl trophies, 1, 2, 3". End of discussion.

4. If you did not at least attend your favorite school for any period of time, you cannot hold bragging rights over someone who did attend the school. Sidewalk Bama fan, you have no bragging rights over someone who graduated from Auburn. No way. You were never apart of that school (unless you work there or paid for your kid's tuition there, that is ok). Root for them all day long, but don't talk trash to someone who attended the other school (talking trash to a sidewalk fan of the opposing school is ok).

5. If your self-identity is so wrapped up in the success of your school that you live vicariously through their success, you need help. If the janitor at the hospital feels more successful than the doctor because he pulls for Tennessee and the doctor went to Vanderbilt, something is wrong here.

Editors note: only football counts towards bragging rights. This post has absolutely nothing to do with wrastlin'.