If any of you have read any of the drivel I've ever put out, you probably anticipated this coming. Earlier this week, the SEC announced that one of the next features in its "Storied" series retelling great SEC players, teams and moments, would be focused on Sylvester Croom.
This got me thinking - what would a MOVIE about Croom be like? What would it be called? Who else would star in it? What would it be about? So, for your viewing pleasure, I put together 10 movies starring Sylvester Croom himself (and based off of his time at Mississippi State).
10. Croominator
Synopsis: Sylvester Croom, the 2025 National Coach of the Year and 3 time NCAA Champion Head Coach at Alabama, goes back in time to terminate any and all football success at Mississippi State University from 2005-2008.
9. What Happens in (Stark)Vegas
Synopsis: Croom, a bumming middle-aged table maker turned football coach, journeys to Las Vegas with his best friend Woody McCorvey to drink his problems away. Croom and Woody run into two lovely ladies, and ultimately forget to return to coach the 2007 season, thus granting the team success.
8. 10 Things I hate about Croom
Synopsis: Croom, an adolescent teen at 1990's Starkville High School, lives out his high school years being bullied by his nemesis, Sick Naban, but learning to cope with it by joining a theatrical group and writing the hit school play - About Out Routes.
7. Woodey McCorvey and the Temple of Croom
Synopsis: This adventure follows our hero Woody McCorvey as he journeys from the Rocky Mountains of Tennessee to the dreaded north Mississippi Temple of Croom.
6. The Sly Who Loved Me
Synopsis: Sylvester thwarts an evil plot to take over the world by Ron Zookreisterzen, all while saving his love, Larrita Templtoniaanavich.
5. CaCroom
Synopsis: Sylvester Croom, rejuvenated by swimming in the magical pool over at Urban Meyer's house one night, returns to Starkville to lead the Bulldogs into the 2007 season. The film ends as he runs out of rejuvenation, just as the 2008 season is beginning.
4. Sylvester's List
Synopsis: Croom makes a list of players to cut in order to keep his program developing "the right way"
3. 7 plays in his set
Synopsis: Croom discusses Woody McCorvey's entire offensive playbook.
2. Inception
Synopsis: Croom plants the idea of a contract extension in Larry Templeton's mind in this 4.5 hour, fictional film.
1. Good Play Hunting
Synopsis: Sylvester plays a highly intelligent and misguided janitor at the Manning Passing Academy.
*NOTE: these movie titles are definitely not related to Terminator, What Happens in Vegas, 10 Things I hate about you, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Spy Who Loved Me, Cocoon, Schindler's List, 7 Days in Tibet, Inception, or Good Will Hunting. There title similarities are merely a coincidence.