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Week 4! Football! Saturday! Drinking in a parking lot with your friends at 8:30 in the morning! Yep, all these things make up the greatness that is another college football Saturday. As we near the 1/3 point of the fast moving 2012 season, let's take a look at who all is playing on TV today, which games we'll be watching, and who you should bet on probably not maybe.
What we're watching today [All times Central, y'all]
College Gameday - ESPN - 8 a.m. to 11 a.m.
In the college football bible that I'm sure exists somewhere out there, the 2nd commandment is "thou shalt not start a college football Saturday without watching gameday." Don't call me a blasphemer, it's in there I didn't checked. Besides, if you didn't start off the day with gameday, you'd miss the witty signs, the bold predictions, the not so fasts, and Tom Rinaldi taking your happiness and making you cry like a baby for five minutes. Why would you want to miss all that?
Right, you wouldn't. This week the gang rolls into Tallahassee for the Clemson - FSU matchup. Another year, another Top 10 ranking for FSU and near the Top 10 for Clemson. Also another year where both feast on cupcakes, then perpetually find a way to pee themselves in an unimportant game, wasting away a potential shot at a national title berth. NO it hasn't happened yet, but come on folks, it WILL. They even have a name for it, it's called "Clemsoning." Anyways, I'll be tuned in Saturday morning sitting around in my jammies to see who the guys pick, and how many Noles fans I can count that have Affliction shirts on.
Related: Full College Football TV Schedule - Week 4
11:21 a.m. - SEC Network - Kentucky at (14) Florida
Why the heck would I watch this bloodbath, you ask? Well 1 - there won't be any other decent games on that early. And 2 - I just want to be tuned in in case Kentucky ever beats anyone else with a wide receiver at quarterback. They won't this week, mind you, but you should always be prepared. Don't want to miss a moment like that.
Spread - Florida by 24
How I'd bet hypothetically - I'd definitely take the over on that. Florida by 35, at least.
2:30 p.m. - CBS - Missouri at (7) South Carolina
After Will Muschamp has finished with Joker Phillips and they've read the final rights, I'll keep my tv dial tuned in on the same channel to watch Verne and Gary call Missouri and South Carolina in the weekend's CBS game. This is one of the few games on the SEC slate this weekend that has me baffled as to what might happen. On one hand, South Carolina QB Connor Shaw's throwing arm is basically attached with gorilla glue and some yarn at this point, and I don't know how good his backup is. On the other hand, Missouri is dealing with their own set of injured QB problems, so that position may be a tossup. Throw on top of that the fact that this is Mizzou's first SEC road game, and that tilts it back in the Gamecocks favor a good bit.
Spread - South Carolina by 10
How I'd bet hypothetically - I'll take South Carolina to cover, but barely. I think they score late to secure the victory at a two touchdown gap, which puts me just in the money. Even with no QB back there, South Carolina is still more predictable than when they had Garcia [throws into quadruple coverage]
Channel Flipping during the State game
6 p.m. - ESPN - (2) LSU at Auburn
It goes without saying that I will be watching our game, but during breaks I'll flip over to watch the blood letting on the plains. You can try to convince yourself that this will be a good game, Auburn fans, but I'm sorry, I just don't think so. Les Miles will call plays he wrote on the back of a matchbook 5 minutes before the game for the entire first half, giving you the sense that you have a shot in this fight. Then the second half he'll roll out two 230 lb running backs that you've never seen before, and they'll bulldoze you repeatedly until Trooper waves the white flag. Don't be embarassed, Auburn, they'll do that to most of us this year. The key is that afterwards when their fans are looting your tailgate and urinating in your grill, just act like they're not there. They'll move on.
Spread - LSU by 21
How I'd bet hypothetically - I'll take the under, because LES MILES IS THEIR COACH and he'll start taking a knee like 2 minutes into the 2nd half, allowing Auburn to pull within 19.
6:30 p.m. - NBC - (18) Michigan at (11) Notre Dame
This one is definitely the last choice to flip to during the State game, but it might be interesting, even if just to see Brian Kelly's face turn purple to the point he looks like an umpaloompa with a growth spurt. Michigan has been an afterthought since the Bama beatdown, and I hate it for them, but I think that continues. Notre Dame takes this one, which means Kelly will not be forced to sacrifice the usual 4 walk-ons post-game.
Spread - Notre Dame by 5
How I'd bet hypothetically - I'll take the Domers on this one by 10 to cover
6:50 p.m. - FOX - (15) Kansas State at (6) Oklahoma
Bill Snyder still has some fight in him to be 1,962 years old, but I still think his team is just a step back from Oklahoma. I think the Wildcats keep it close, but Oklahoma tacks on a couple late to seal it.
Spread - Oklahoma by 14
How I'd bet hypothetically - Just put 11 in the box Oklahoma and you got this. I think the Sooners act the like old Sooners and roll in this one. I'm taking the over
7 p.m. - ABC - (10) Clemson at (4) Florida State
This should hopefully be a good game to watch, and possibly the only one in the ACC this year with VT in a down year. Look for their to be an enormous amount of points scored, so much so that it would be ruled dang near illegal if it were an SEC game. FSU goes FSU late and stumbles, leaving a crack in the door for Tahj Boyd and Sammy Watkins to come sliding in and steal a victory.
Spread - FSU by 14
How I'd bet hypothetically - I'll take the under here, as I think Clemson will win. Florida State just never impresses me, and with Sammy Watkins back, I think Clemson will be on full power, revving that offense up to 8,000 RPMs.
The Night Cap
9:30 p.m. - ESPN - (22) Arizona at (3) Oregon
Did you enjoy it several years ago when State scored TD after TD after TD while Rich Rod was just like OMG whatever and checking Zillow on his iPhone for comparable homes for sale in the Ann Arbor area? If so, then you might want to stay up for the night game, because that's bound to happen again [the scoring, not the looming firing]. Don't get me wrong, I think Arizona is a solid team, but Oregon is just unreal on offense, and Autzen Stadium literally is a zoo, as they displace Tigers, Snakes and Howler Monkeys throughout the stadium to distract you from the fact that their really really good. Oregon has some injuries, which is concerning, but they have two of the fastest players in college football, so that might help.
Spread - Oregon by 22
How I'd bet hypothetically - Yeah, I'll definitely take the over
What will you be watching this Saturday?