- Mark Richt, UGA - Calm, reserved -- that's the face of a man who's been around for a bit. He's got the slight head tilt, so you know he's ready for the picture. Gentlemanly, and hasn't even lost control of the picture yet.
- Will Muschamp, UF - Will watched a lot of Leave it to Beaver growing up, and sure maybe he had a Red Bull or 20 on the way over. The point is that he's excited to be here, he's thrilled to be among other distinguished head coa[smile fades, breaks Bielema in half, runs off stage where Joker Phillips picks him up in stolen Batmobile]
- Steve Spurrier, USC - That's a full Steve Spurrier smile, plus points for being Steve Spurrier.
- Hugh Freeze, UM - Although Hugh is somewhat new to this thing, he's no stranger to the church directory picture process. Hurry up, mr. picture taking man, because Second United Methodist Church of the Cross Holy Trinity Mount Zion's tweets about their upcoming BBQ fundraiser aren't going to RT themselves.
- Kevin Sumlin, TA&M - The guy has a Heisman quarterback, coaches in the SEC, and just got approval for an appoximate $456 billion renovation at his team's stadium. Plus, he never looks not relaxed. He should be ranked higher frankly.
- Les Miles, LSU - No, Les Miles won't smile for you, camera man, because he's about 75% certain that you're a minotaur sent from his dreamworld last night to finish the job of killing him.
- Gary Pinkel, Mizzou - Gary Pinkel coaches at Missouri, lives in Missouri, and is mustering somewhat of a smile. Gary Pinkel is giving 1000% effort here.
- Bret Bielema, Ark - Smiling, sure, but that's mostly because his name isn't John L. Smith, and because he may have been drinking a PBR
yesterday last night this morning5 minutes ago.
- James Franklin, Vandy - James had a great smile and pose set, until Muschamp made a nerd joke and distracted him.
- Gus Malzahn, Aub - Calm and collected, sure, but a slight hint of worry in his face, because he can't remember if he unplugged the iron.
- Mark Stoops, UK - MARK STOOPS IS SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. MARK STOOPS IS EXCITED ABOUT THE OPPORTUNITY TO COACH AT KENTUCKY. MARK STOOPS.
- Butch Jones, UT - Points deducted because I didn't realize he was as short as Saban.
- Nick Saban, UA - Has Nick Saban EVER looked excited to be doing anything, let alone standing in the direct vicinity of some of the people he hates most in the world?
- Dan Mullen, MSU - Disqualified - showed up late and just walking in from a meeting with Mark Emmert to discuss the legality of recruiting a player whose name is literally Hashtag [Safety, 5*, Greenbow, Alabama]
Ranking the pose of every SEC football coach in this photo at the SEC Network announcement
This is important stuff, you guys.