Mangum, P.I. and the Curse of the Crimson Tide

[SCENE: A sunny day at the beach, Mangum is relaxing in a chair listening to the waves and is surprised by Higgins, again]

Higgins, terrified: MANGUM! MANGUM! WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Mangum: Higgins, what is it? Whatever it is, I can solve it. I’m an award winning baseba- I mean, private investigator, you know.

Higgins: Did you almost say baseball player?

Mangum, incredulous: Of course not! That’d be ridiculous. Now what is it Higgins?

Higgins: We have a problem, Mangum

Mangum: Yes. I know. You’ve said that. You even screamed hysterically, which is out of character for you.

Higgins: It’s the Crimson Tide

Mangum, perplexed: The what?

Higgins: The Crimson Tide

Mangum: Is that a biker gang?

Higgins, frustrated: no it's a-

Mangum: Is it an environmental disaster? Because that sounds like an environmental disaster. I can do a lot of things but I can’t solve environmental disaster.

Higgins: No. It's-

Mangum: Oh wait, I get it, is it some sort of

Higgins, furious for being interrupted: MANGUM. WHATEVER YOU’RE ABOUT TO SAY IS INCORRECT

Mangum: Is is a baseball team, Higgins?

Higgins: Well, yes. I guess you weren’t incorrect

Mangum: What’s the problem Higgins?

Higgins: Well, we’ve had some close run ins with these guys in the past, and now we’re facing them again

Mangum: So wait are they a baseball team or a biker gang because you’re acting like they’re a biker gang

Higgins: Irrelevant. Last night they slaughtered a bunch of wildcats

Mangum: WHAT

Higgins: You heard me

Mangum: That’s awful. So they’re a baseball playing environmental disaster biker gang

Higgins: I guess you could say that

Mangum: I mean when you say Crimson Tide it sounds a lot like a bunch of sea creatures perished and their blood went everywhere

Higgins: MANGUM. FOCUS.

Mangum: Stop yelling, John. It’s not good for your health.

Higgins: Regardless, what’re you going to do to stop these monsters?

Mangum: Wait. They're monst-

Higgins: MANGUM

Mangum: Oh. You meant metaphorically. Well, Higgins. Here's my plan.

Higgins: Okay.

Mangum: First I'll try hitting them. Maybe with a bat or something.

Higgins: Okay. That might work. It's a little odd, but it might work.

Mangum: Then I'll try throwing stuff at them.

Higgins: That's definitely odd.

Mangum: If that doesn't work, I'll have someone dunk on them.

Higgins, dumbfounded: Wut.

Mangum, confident: Trust me Higgins, I know it'll work. I have firsthand knowledge of what it's like to be dunked on.

R.I.P. @jakemangum15
Death by Dunking@JRsBBQ with the call. pic.twitter.com/m9q0YykpxB

— Kyle Niblett (@KyleNiblett) May 22, 2016