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NCAA Football: Alabama at Mississippi State Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports

I think we are all ready for the first kickoff, the first tackle, the first State TD, the first State VICTORY! We’re all busy getting travel plans made, vehicles checked out, making tail-gating plans, checking our threads and purchasing some new ones. Of course no one has forgotten the most essential thing, tune-up the Cowbell, give it a fresh coat of paint or buy that new COWBELL that we have been dreaming of for months. The we have to get the old arm in shape. A daily routine of a set number of Clinga-Clangas to work both sides of the arm and shoulder muscles. We have to be ready when called on to raise the noise level to the point the other team starts to sweat and become distracted.

In this series, each Wednesday morning as the Sun peaks over Davis-Wade Stadium I will take a look at each SEC team remaining to be played on our schedule. I’ll examine how they played the past week and try to identify their strengths and weaknesses as well as significant injuries that seem to have impacted them. When we have run by them or thrown over them they will disappear like ROAD-KILL in the rear-view mirror and I will try to refocus us on the victims still to come.

South Carolina will be peaking over the tree-line very soon now, just as soon as they can leave Nashville. Their cabinets are depleted and their chances of leaving Nashville with their tail feathers still attached aren’t good. Hopefully when they leave Stark-Vegas they will be sunburned after losing all hope and all their feathers.

LSU is even now preparing their cooking pots hoping to ensnare some fit and trim dogs. They will have their hands full though because we will leave no-one behind and we will give our best. Strange things happen in the Baton Rouge in SEC games, and the Bulldogs will have to be focused against the Tigers in Death Valley.

By the time Kentucky pops up we should have the motor primed for cruising on blue-grass and running down wildcats. We then speed back home to add more gas to the fire (ha ha, you get it? FIRE) in Aggie-land.

Now we head to T-town to give the Tide their annual physical. If we are hitting on all cylinders and they are insecure and struggling then we just might leave the SEC talking about Dan the Man and his tough little Bully Pups. A herd of Razorbacks awaits our bus ride back home but they haven’t heard about our freshly sharpened canines. The Bulldogs will look to end the Hogs’ chances at a New Year’s bowl game.

Then we “GET TO” go see the Black Bears as they have designs on keeping the Golden Egg up in Oxford. They don’t know about the new signs on the edge of town that say “Don’t Feed The Bears,” so we’ll look to show up and graciously give our up-state friends a good old fashioned butt-whooping.

Well, that’ll do it for this week. Next week we will have our first clues of what these same teams actually have under the hood. Get to the 1st Bell-Ringing practice of the season so we will have the arm fully in shape. Then Saturday morning go to Davis-Wade or watch on the SEC network as Bully gnaws on a pile of Jaguar bones having made his belly full from the meat the bones once belonged to.