I GOT UH FEW THINGS TO SAY ABOU DA COACHIN' BIDNESS. IMMA BREAK ALL DIS DOW INTO SOME NUMBAS AND A LIST KINDA THING.
NUMBA ONE: I DON KNOW IFFA STAKSVILLE GOT UH INANOUT BURGER BUT YOU NEEDA GET ONE. PLAYERS LOVE THEM BURGERS. I LOVE THEM BURGERS. EVEYBODY LOVE THEM BURGERS. GET MINE WIT DA ONIONS. IS REAL GOOD.
NUMBA TWO: GET UH ENDORMENT DEAL. I SOLD THEM HUMMER TRUCK THINGS, DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEM HUMMER TRUCK THINGS WERE BUT I GOT ON DA TV AND I TALKED ABOUT HUMMER TRUCKS. PAID ME SOME MONEY FOR IT.
NUMBA THREE: USE YOUR ENDORMENT MONEY TO BUY A LOTTA RED BULL. SAY IT GIVE YOU WINGS BUT THAT AIN'T BEEN MUCH TRUE IN MY EXPERENCE. THINK THAT JUST PROPERGANDA. IF YOU CAN WORK OUT UH ENDORMENT DEAL WIT DA RED BULL COMPANY, DATS EVEN BETTA. JUST CUT OUT DAT MIDDLE MAN.
NUMBA FOUR: CHOCLA CHIP COOKIES.
NUMBA FIVE: GET SOME GOOD FOOBALL PLAYERS. GET YOU UH DEXER McLUSTER. GET YOU UH PERRUH JERRY. GET YOU UH JEVA SNEA. GET YOU THEM PLAYERS LIKE THAT, YOU GON WIN UH FOOBALL GAME.
I TAKE SOME QUETIONS NOW.
Coach O, most of us are high school coaches. This is a clinic, so a lot of what you're talking about doesn't really apply to us. Do you have any advice for those of us who aren't coaching in colleges?
IFFA YOU UH HIGH SCHOO COACH, YOU NEEDA GOALANGATREEBOYHEY, HEH HEH HEH HEH, YOU GET WHA IMMA SAYIN?
Coach, I don't think anyone here is sure of what you're saying. Anyway, can you maybe tell us a little about what you've learned since you were fired from Ole Miss?
LEARN A LOT. GOT TO KEEP LEARNIN ALL DA TIME. AT OH MISS I COACH MAD A LOTTA DA TIME. LET MY FACE GET ALL RED. LET MY VEINS COME OUT. PULL MY SHIR OFF AND YELL A BUNCH AT DEM PLAYERS. LEARN NOT TO DO THAT NO MORE. WHEN I COACH AT DA SOUTHER CAFORNA, I LEARN YOU GOTTA LEAVE DAT SHIRT ON. REAL IMPORTAN.
Obviously Houston Nutt had some success with the players you brought to Ole Miss after you left. If you had it to do again, would you have gone for it on 4th?
DEFINNY. DEFINNY GO FOR IT AGAIN ON FOUR AND ONE. COACHIN ALL ABOUT RISK. DON MATTER IF YOU UH COLLEGE COACH, HIGH SCHOO COACH, ANYTHING. JIMMY JOHSON TOLD ME, "EH OGHUON, YOU A REAL COACH AND A REAL COACH KNOW HOW TO COACH WIT THE OTHER REAL COACHES OR HE AIN'T NO REAL COACH." NEVER DID FORGET DEM WORDS.
And if you had stayed another year, do you think you would have matched Nutt's success?
CAN'T BE SECON GUESSIN WHAT MIGHTA HAPPEN. MAYBE WE WON EIGHT GAMES. MAYBE WE WON A CHAMPUNSHIP. MAYBE I'M COACHIN DA SAINTS RIGHT NOW WINNIN SUPA BOWLS. AIN'T NO TELLIN. CAN'T GUESS AT DAT STUFF. BUT YEAH, I THINK I BE COACHIN THE SAINTS IF I HADN'T GOT FIRE FROM DA OH MISS. LOVE DA SAINTS. DREW BREE A GOOD QUABACK. NEED A QUABACK. BREN SCHAFFA WASN'T NO QUABACK.
Coach, I think I speak for most of us Mississippi State fans when I say, thank you for all the entertainment you've given us over the years. It's really been a godsend. I mean, you made Croom look good. That's a damn accomplishment.
YOU WECOME. ALWAYS HAPPY TO MEET FANS. I BE SIGNIN AUGRAPH AFTA THIS. TANK YOU ALL FOR COMIN.