This past Sunday, coach Dan Mullen took to Twitter and posted this picture of himself and his church reverend:
At first glace, it's just an innocent picture of a football coach and his clergyman after a fulfilling Sunday worship service, but just three days later, this image appeared on Twitter, posted by user @bheavener5 and it was retweeted by coach Mullen himself:
These posts raised concerns within our organization about the frequency and enthusiasm with which Mullen took these alleged selfies. After lengthy discussions and gratuitous procrastination, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls launched an investigation and what we uncovered was shocking.
Beginning on February 11th, 2015 a long history of selfies can be found just by scrolling through coach Mullen's Twitter feed. Mullen posted this photo of himself at a college fair to Twitter on the day of the 11th:
At the metro college fair. pic.twitter.com/saCGeIqPBK— Dan Mullen™ (@CoachDanMullen) February 11, 2015
Another picture appeared one month earlier on January 12th and implicates other significant individuals as selfie lovers. ESPN football analyst Tom Luginbill can clearly be seen as well as Nebraska head football coach Mike Riley, Pittsburgh coach Pat Narduzzi, and even Vanderbilt coach Derek Mason:
Pre game warmup with the crew. pic.twitter.com/Pw78KHh5IW— Dan Mullen™ (@CoachDanMullen) January 13, 2015
Mullen even admitted to having taken a "selfie" with MSU quarterback Dak Prescott on December 11th, 2014:
Red carpet selfie. pic.twitter.com/ZgXHixf8QH— Dan Mullen™ (@CoachDanMullen) December 11, 2014
On November 20th he sent this picture to comedic actor and sports talk radio host Jay Mohr:
On that same day, Mullen shamelessly posted this picture of himself in an MSU classroom. It's unclear whether or not all of the other individuals in this picture are fans of selfies as well, but they do not look displeased:
There is more evidence if Mullen's Twitter feed is examined further and after considering what we have unearthed, it's difficult to conclude anything other than that coach Mullen has developed a concerning selfie habit. In the wake of our findings, we reached out to Mullen for comment but he was using his phone to take a selfie when we called so he could not speak on the matter.
"We are conducting a thorough internal investigation at this time." said MSU athletic director Scott Stricklin when asked about the repeated incidents "obviously Mississippi State University and its athletic department do not condone behavior like this."
Stricklin did not mention whether or not the NCAA would eventually be conducting its own investigation but as the popularity of social media grows in the world of college football, it's likely that more and more coaches will be taking selfies and the NCAA will inevitably have to step in. We contacted the NCAA to ask them about this possible epidemic and we were told the following by a spokesperson: "Selfies? What are you talking about? No, we will not be investigating why Dan Mullen takes so many selfies. Please don't call back."
To us, this sounds like a statement from an organization that is in denial.
Former MSU football coach Jackie Sherrill also weighed in: "I don't even know what a selfie is. Who is this again?" Sherrill stated when we asked if he would have taken selfies when he was the head coach of the Bulldogs.
Opinions seem to be split on whether or not coach Mullen's fondness for taking his own picture is problem. While some believe that this is just a harmless way for the coach to interact with fans over social media, not everyone is so sure. Dan Mullen has been an excellent coach at MSU but is this tendency to perpetually take pictures of himself distracting him from his team? You decide.
Disclaimer for all Facebook commenters: Obviously, this is all satire (except for coach Mullen's love of selfies, which is very real). We didn't talk to Scott Stricklin, the NCAA or Jackie Sherrill and there is no actual investigation.