58. Definitely get a back-tat like the one above
57. Go to the beach, get an awkward-shaped second degree sunburn
56. Call into the Finebaum Show, coherently discuss with him the merits of the spread option, only refer to him as Morpheus
55. Debate every height and weight listing on your rival's official roster
53. Host a re-watch party for the 2008 Auburn-MSU game
52. Create a fake credential to get into the SEC Media Days while the Mission Impossible theme blares
51. Rank the SEC coaches by "Most likely to listen to Kenny Chesney"
50. Hold a satellite camp next door to Nick Saban's house (is actually a camp for kids who want to install satellite systems, but he won't know that)
49. Create a Twitter account devoted to unearthing every creepy person who tweets at recruits (with Chris Hansen as your profile pic)
48. Make a slideshow post ranking your least favorite Bleacher Report slideshows
47. Build a time machine, go back and ask FX to cancel "The League" after season 4
46. Revise your Will to leave all of your money to your school's live mascot
45. Casually start a vague rumor about "big news coming" on your favorite message board, crawfish out of it when nothing happens
44. Rewatch the 2014 MSU-Auburn game and call an Auburn friend every time State scores
43. Finish that life-sized Lego Phil Fulmer you've been working on
42. Start a fight on EliteDawgs by spelling out "Ole Miss" in a post
41. Write a season of True Detective where Chris Davis and Lee Corso solve the murders of five prostitutes near the SMU campus in the 80's.
40. Never tweet
39 - 22. Reply to heated message board threads with only .GIFs of fat guy touchdown dance celebrations
21. Get a summer internship in South Bend, buy a bumper sticker that says "Rudy was offsides"
20. Work on sign ideas for football season for Strange Brew Coffeehouse
19. Challenge someone on the internet to a fist fight over the ending of Lost
17. Cut your school's logo into your grass until Google Earth picks it up (Also acceptable: cut in "Terry Sue, I still love you")
16. Play "Seven Nation Army" on repeat at work to see which coworker breaks first
15. Create a "helmet" schedule that instead features pictures of opponent's coaches screaming
14. Spend half a day debating the top defensive lines in the SEC
13. Change your signature to "I support Big Ten Satellite Camps" and comment a bunch on SEC Rant
12. Start a book club that instead reviews and discusses Nicholas Cage movies
11. Watch a truly underrated early 2000s comedy, Out Cold
10. Yell "Roll Tide" at one of the following events: A piano recital, a wedding, an auction, Mad Max: Fury Road
9. Google "LSUFreek", go to images, relive every one
8. Make .GIFs, Vines, and/or Instagrams that are dumb
7. Submit six light bright patterns with an application to become a designer at Adidas
6. Sign someone you don't like up for a Saturday Down South email newsletter
5. Make "Deal with it" .GIF meme's for 50 different pictures of Steve Spurrier
4. Send Mike Slive a retirement congrats card with this picture in it.
3. Send Onion article links to your grandparents without context
2. Unfriend everyone on Facebook who shares a "[#] things ____ people do" post or anything that looks viral or click bait-y
1. Boldly predict unfathomable success for your team this fall -- embracing only the positives while ignoring every negative -- to anyone who will listen
HAPPY OFFSEASONING, EVERYONE!