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(let's go beat) Rice Rice Baby: A rap by Dan Mullen

What would a Vanilla Ice-themed rap from coach Dan Mullen about this season and playing Rice look like? Well, maybe (probably not) like this!

please pardon the poor photoshopping -- @cristilmethod

[it may help if you open this in another browser while you read, or it may make it way worse]

Yo, LIB-ER-TY, Let's kick it!

All right stop, see the Egg Bowl glistenin'
Danny's back for the fourth bowl edition
Koenning grabs the playbook tightly
Prescott on that FedEx delivering TDs daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo / I don't know
Turn off the light / see the gold chrome glow
To the extreme / I chew the playcard like an animal
Eat up defenses / like my first name hannibal.

Blitz / We rushin' QBs like BOOM
Cowbells killing your brain / like a paracitic sly croom
Robinson / rushing on Arky on the readily
Anything less / than his best / is a felony
Love it or leave it / You better gain way
You better block Chris Jones / The kid don't play
If there was a problem / Yo, Geoff solves it
Check out the hook / while my DC revolves it

Rice Rice Baby / let's go beat Rice Rice Baby
Rice Rice Baby / let's go beat Rice Rice Baby

Now that Davis Wade / is jumping
With the cowbells clanging / and the speakers is pumpin
Time for / a quick commercial
Keep running that Mercedes / like the jumbo's name was Herschel
Burning them / with a throwback screen
Koenning calling crazy / like he's gone a little seen-
ile / I know y'all's game is out of style
Playin that C-USA life
Rice thinkin' they're street fighter Guile

Rollin' / in my 4-3 zone
sendin McKinney / on that blitz / like a CIA drone

Lastly / I wanna thank Hugh Freeze
For keepin Bo in / so I keeps my cheese
If I had a problem / Egg Bowl solved it
nine wins in '14 / then the haters gone call quits

Rice Rice Baby / let's go beat Rice Rice Baby
Rice Rice Baby / let's go beat Rice Rice Baby

Yo, man, let's get out of here! Word to recruit's mothers!